I got a letter from my best bud “Mike” at the Republican National Committee! What splendidly ironic timing!

Republican National Committee
Robert M. “Mike” Duncan, Chairman

Dear Friend,

I have written to you multiple times this year but I haven’t heard back from you. I hope that you don’t think your commitment to our Party isn’t needed this year.

Democrats and their liberal special interest allies are using America’s national security to score political points at the expense of our safety.

As our courageous troops fight to win in the central front of the War on Terror, Democrat Senate Leader Harry Reid declares, “This war is lost.” And House Speaker Nancy Pelosi pushes a pork filled defense bill through the U.S. House demanding deadlines for our retreat from Iraq.

Reid and Pelosi are taking their cues from the radical left-wing groups like MoveOn.org in planning their cut-and-run strategy. The Democrats are convinced this misguided plan will increase their majorities in Congress and win the White House in 2008.

Our country cannot afford their cynical, irresponsible leadership.

We need you to rush an emergency contribution of $100, $75 or $50 to the RNC today to counter the Democrats’ retreat and defeat strategy for America and to help get our message past the liberal media filter.

Please don’t sit on the sidelines and let the Democrats’ cynical plan succeed. There has never been a more important time for you to renew your support. President Bush and our Republican leadership are counting on you. I hope you will reaffirm your commitment today.

Sincerely,

Robert M. “Mike” Duncan
Chairman, Republican National Committee

P.S. Democrats are convinced that retreating in Iraq will lead to political gain for their party on 2008. Please stand with your President and your Party and renew your membership with a contribution of $100, $75 or $50 to the RNC today to support our efforts to defeat the Democrats and end ther cut-and-run plans. Thank you.

Let’s see…

• Pelosi … CHECK!
• “War is lost”…CHECK!
• courageous troops… CHECK!
• cut-and-run plan… CHECK!

Yup… That’s the RNC all right.

I responded with this:

Dear “Mike” (I can call you “Mike” since we are such good buds, right?),

Your last letter really moved me. It moved me even further away from the Republican Party and further away from reaching into my pockets and handing over my hard earned cash to support a party that has moved away from me ever since my last contribution.

As you know, since we are such good buds, I never considered myself a Republican. I supported your party in the past because you claimed to be for security, small government and fiscal responsibility. Most of all I supported your party because the Democrats were objectively worse on every issue that mattered to me. In other words, your nut cases were less scary than their nut cases. Since, in the past, the Democrats have clearly been the greater of the two evils, I supported the lessor of the two evils.

In the past few years I have noticed that your party was both untrue to the party’s stated principles and beguiled by the power of the majority. Now that your are in the minority again, it is extremely hypocritical to point at the excesses of the Democrat majority in the area of Pork when your party had no trouble finding the trough and seemed to like the taste of pork. Limited government also went right out the window along with the minority status. The Medicare drug benefit, “no child left behind” and further expansions of government since 1994 stand to prove that the limited government plank of your platform is just so many hollow words.

Even given all these failings, I would be inclined to support your party for the same reasons I have supported it before, namely you are not as scary as the Democrats.

Until now.

Immigration is one issue that I thought you had right. I could not have been more wrong. Hearing Senate Minority Whip Trent Lott and other Republicans talk about the Senate immigration bill I was hard pressed to tell them apart from the open boarders people. I might feel differently about the party if I were in the minority of Americans on the issue, but clearly I am not. Ramming this bill through over the unmistakable and loud objections of your constituents shows an amazing lack of respect for the system, even the foundations of the representative republic on which this country is founded. The Democrats have an excuse, they are leftists and power hungry. They expect that all the freshly minted underclass Americans will go to the polls in drives to vote for Democrats. Cynical yes, but at least they have a reason to support this bill no matter how evil.

In closing, I will not support your party again. You can win my support simply by going back to your party platform, reading it, live by it and do the people’s work. It will not be easy to win me back, I have been burned too much and for too long for these wounds to heal with a few simple gestures. A commitment to the republic, the people and the ideals of limited government and fiscal responsibility.

You can also stop sending me these nice personal letters, they will find the bottom of the trash can without opening

P.S. I am enclosing in your nice prepaid postage envelope, your missive with a less subtle message in case this one is not enough.

Click “More” to see the image

Inspired by: This Hot Air spot. I’m too late to demand money back and it will always be too long ago that I contributed to Republicans.