Ever wonder why my generation is so messed up? Wonder no more…

In the vaguely near future…

As per the mandate from the Federal Medical Insurance Department, I went down to re-instate my Medical Insurance. The first step, of course, is to get the required Medical Insurance Buyer’s License so my adventure begins at the local DMI (Department of Medical Insurance).

DMI Clerk: Next!

Sinner: Hi, I need to reinstate my Medical Insurance Buyer’s License. I just moved to this State and I have an appointment for my medical entrance exam.

DMI Clerk: OK, I just need to see the license from your previous State and we can begin.

Sinner: Um.. I don’t have it. My buying privileges were suspended for an unrelated issue, but I have this letter from the State DMI there explaining that my privileges are reinstated but alas, my license expired while suspended.

DMI Clerk: [looks over paperwork] hmmm.. Your privileges do seem in order, but as you know States deny these privileges as sentences in criminal court regardless of your license status.

Sinner: Well, I understand, but it has my license number right on top of the page, see…

DMI Clerk: Yes, I see but that doesn’t mean that you had a valid license so you will either have to start from scratch or produce a full, notarized copy of your medical insurance history. Why not call your old State DMI and ask to have the records sent here? I have the number right here. We will just fit you in later for your exam if you can get them to send the records to us, if it comes from the official State DMI fax number we can overlook the notarized part.

Sinner: Um… OK, I’ll try.

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After navigating several automated phone system menus, I finally get to “real human”.

Old State DMI Clerk: Hello, how may I help you?

Sinner: I need a copy of my Medical Insurance Buyers License records sent to my new State in order to get my license reinstated. My license number is : xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-xx-xxxxx—xxxxx

Old State DMI Clerk: We can’t do that because the cost of sending those records is $12 and must be paid in cash and you need to show 4 different forms of ID in order to release them to you.

Sinner: I’m thousands of miles away. And I need them released to my new State, not to me personally.

Old State DMI Clerk: Well, we can release them to the new state, but they need to send an official request via FAX. Once we receive that request, it will be filled in 24 hours.

Sinner: ummm. Wow…. OK.. I’ll see if I can get them to send the request.

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DMI Clerk: Next! .. oh its you… what can I do for you?

Sinner: The old State requires that you FAX them a request for the records.

DMI Clerk: Oh.. we don’t do that… Next!

Sinner: WAIT! Can I speak to a Supervisor?

DMI Clerk: Very well, but I am sure…

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DMI Supervisor: How can I help you?

Sinner: I have an appointment for my Medical Insurance Buyers License exam, but there is some problems getting verification of my prior license. My old State required an official records request from you before sending them.

DMI Supervisor: Ohh.. that State, they are morons aren’t they? I can handle this.

…

DMI Supervisor: I sent the request, I suggest you cal down there again to see if they would move on it. We are still able to give you your exam if they hurry.

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Old State DMI Clerk: Hello, how may I help you?

Sinner: Hi, I called a little while ago about getting my records FAXed, there is a request sent, I was hopeful that you could turn it around while I can still take the exam today.

Old State DMI Clerk: We are understaffed, it will be 24 hours.

Sinner: So, there’s no point in waiting here then?

Old State DMI Clerk: Nope, we don’t have enough funding to be that responsive.

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DMI Clerk: Next! Oh…

Sinner: Yes, sorry I’m a problem…

DMI Clerk: What can I do for you?

Sinner: It looks like I am going to miss my exam because the old State is underfunded.

DMI Clerk: [snickers]

Sinner: So, how do I start from scratch?

DMI Clerk: Have you passed your “knowledge test” yet?

Sinner: No, but it shouldn’t be a problem. Can I take it now?

DMI Clerk: Sure, $5 please… Here is the exam, return it to me when you finish.

---

DMI Clerk: Next!

Sinner: Finished the exam.

DMI Clerk: OK, let’s see… nice score, you passed. Let me give you your Learner’s Permit.

Sinner: OK, now I can take my exam?

DMI Clerk: [chuckles] No…no.. You have to “practice” for at least 3 months by buying “learners insurance”, then you can schedule a new exam for the real license.

Sinner: But it took 6 months to get this exam appointment!

DMI Clerk: Then I guess I’ll see you next year, hope you stay healthy! NEXT!

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You may think this is a work of fiction, but you are wrong.

Replace “Driver’s License” for “Medical Insurance Buyers License” and “DMV” for “DMI” and you get a Reader’s Digest condensed version of what happened yesterday and continues to happen today. I am posting this from a coffee shop near the DMV while waiting for the driving records to be faxed from my old State, now 26 hours after the “24 hour request” was made.

Do you really want these people running the health insurance system?

Mr. Deity

Blasphemy was never this much fun.

Something wonderful has come to my life and the lives of teh girls and I would like to thank President Obama for making it happen.

Yep…. you read that right… The President is responsible for something absolutely awesome happening to my family.

Before going into detail, I have to say that I am very concerned about posting this. In fact I may decide to trash it before it sees the light of day. Long time readers will understand. I think this story needs to be told, not for us but for the thousands that could take inspiration and courage from the events described below. I only hope that “certain quarters” have a tiny bit of human decency left in their cold, dark souls.
(more…)

Turns out that [w]e’re all sinners but the gates to Hell are marked His and Hers.

Men: Lust
Women: Pride

Whowuddathunkit?

Things are getting a little too scary around here…

So says Indiana University

More often than not, guys interpret even friendly cues, such as a subtle smile from a gal, as a sexual come-on, and a new study discovers why: Guys are clueless.

Nowhere in the findings does it consider that maybe women need to be a little more direct, just that men should “learn to read cues” better.

“I would say that there are many factors that could relate to men demonstrating insensitivity to women’s subtle non-verbal cues,” said Pamela McAuslan, associate professor of psychology at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, who was not involved in the current study.

Can we please stop the male bashing?

…

Tone it down a bit?

…

whatev

QUICK! Call Andrew Sullivan!

I’m sure he would like to step forward and denounce this act of torture.

Well… maybe… uh… forget it

Ya know…

If cats ever develop opposable thumbs, we are sooooo screwed…

Random crap heard in the office:

Come on guys… His pants were on

Jeff G has a knack for making me laugh

Two vegans walk into a bar. Bartender says, “what can I get for you?” First vegan says, “I’ll have a wheat grass juice.” Second vegan says, “Yum. That does sound good, doesn’t it? Make it two, my good man.”

At which point the bartender slaps them both across the face with a raw flank steak.

I just love the concept of biobutanol, a biofuel that can be run in unmodified existing gas engines, transported using existing gas pipelines and can be used straight or blended with dead-dino gas in any proportion. Sounds too good to be true.

Just ran across this article that discusses new advances in cellulosic biomass use to distill the biobutanol.

Lots of technical mumbo-jumbo but it sounds very positive when they toss out stuff like:

The rate of production of wheat straw hydrolysate to butanol was 214% over that from glucose:

As Insty would say: Faster Please.

Wishing all my “kristian perv” peeps a happy holiday.